why is it that everytime life throws hard balls i fail to move
it happens all the time, every time i find happiness
it seems that the world wants to weigh down on my shoulders
forcing me to make the hardest choice
dragging, tearing, ripping me away into darkness
some how even the slightest light blinds me
cant sleep at night as the nightmares pull me out of slumber in a cold sweat
eating makes me queazy, everytime i feel my body trying to perdge
People are trying to make me laugh, its not working
i try to make the pain go away in puffs of smoke
nothing
a flock of ducks gather around a parent and child i cant help but imagine
i imagine that parent as me coming to save the helpless child from frantic ducks
a weak smile i give, then turn away, fanning away  a fantasy i may never have
i walk back, asking myself 'why is it that everytime i find happiness i get doused, torn, ripped, drowned and burried?'
the world is cruel having me make the hardest desission of my life
i never like this word, it always meant that i had to give up my dreams
Even on the people i truly cared about
i sit here hoping something would give me a sign
yet it seems the winds are silent and the water isn't coopritive
there is no winner in this situation... either way some one is going to be hurt
Loneliness seems to know who i am sometimes i wonder if that is my one true calling
for me to be alone for the rest of my life...